I didn't get to go to the ACFW conference this weekend. I missed my friends, the wonderful community of writers.
But on this weekend, I was serving a different community: my church.
As I've mentioned before, our church has been through a tough year that has strained our community to the breaking point and beyond. We've lost almost fifty percent of our membership in six months. Anyone who has ever been through something similar will know what kind of pain this causes.
A few months back, some friends and I were brainstorming about what we could do to help our membership heal and move on. We decided to ask a guest speaker to come in and address us, someone who wasn't burdened by our recent troubles, someone who could remind us what it meant to take joy in our faith and our community. So after church leadership approved the event, I set about finding our speaker. Then a good friend and I proceeded to do what had to be done to make it happen, including fundraising.
He came in to speak to us this weekend. It was everything we could have hoped.
I imagined how we must look to him as he met us in small groups, over meals. Through his eyes, I gained a fresh appreciation for my fellow church members. There are so many good-hearted, gifted people in our conmmunity, and yet we have a tendency to forget the blessings that each person brings to our group, to take for granted their service to others, the things we already know they do. But when a newcomer arrives and sets about figuring out who we are as a group, it can open our eyes to the things we've forgotten.
This was one of our visitor's points, though in this post I can't do justice to his eloquence or humor. He reminded us that to love one another, we need to appreciate and affirm one another's unique gifts and commitment to service. It's not something we can stop because we've known each other for five years, or fifteen, or twenty. Just as the work of our community goes on, so must our appreciation and love for the workers. And it can mean much more to have that work affirmed, quietly and personally, one to another, than to have it acknowledged from a podium.
This Saturday, a bunch of us gathered together, sitting in a circle where we could see each other's faces, and sang. We sang for an hour, and for the first time in months, pure joy filled our gathering. Everyone was smiling. A dear friend came up to me afterward, threw her arms around me, and said something kind. We hugged each other for a long moment. It was one of the best moments of my weekend, the sweetness and joy after the pain.
Real love for one another doesn't just happen because we think we should. It happens because we remember why we love one another. And that is a deeply personal endeavor that calls us to bring our hearts into line with our words.
Do you find real love in one of your communities? What sustains it?
Monday, September 26, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Winners of Fairer than Morning Giveaway - Kindle, Historical Dress and More!
Here is the list of every one who won something at the party last night:
Congratulations to Jenny Chavers Booher! You've won a copy of Fairer Than Morning! Email your mailing address to amy@litfusegroup.com!
Congratulations to Jodie Wolfe! You've won a copy of Fairer Than Morning! Email your mailing address to amy@litfusegroup.com!
Congratulations to Lori Thompson! You've won a copy of Fairer Than Morning and the gift certificate of your choice (Amazon, iTunes, Starbucks)! Email your mailing address and choice to amy@litfusegroup.com!
Congratulations to Donn Battle! You've won a copy of Fairer Than Morning! Email your mailing address to amy@litfusegroup.com!
Congratulations to Roxanna Jolly! You've won a copy of Fairer Than Morning! Email your mailing address to amy@litfusegroup.com!
Congratulations to Faith Hope Cherrytea! You've won a copy of Fairer Than Morning and the gift certificate of your choice (Amazon, iTunes, Starbucks)! Email your mailing address and choice to amy@litfusegroup.com!
Congratulations to Elena Rico! You've won a copy of Fairer Than Morning for posting your photo on my wall! Email your mailing address to amy@litfusegroup.com!
Congratulations to Jenny Crevier! You've won a copy of Fairer Than Morning for posting your photo on my wall! Email your mailing address to amy@litfusegroup.com!
Congrats to Mama-Nikki Vosburgh! You won the $200 gift certificate to Reflections to put toward a custom-made period dress! Email your mailing address to amy@litfusegroup.com!
And here is the Kindle Giveaway winner:
Congrats to Mary Lou from New York! You were with winner of the Fairer Than Morning Kindle Giveaway! Send your mailing address to amy@litfusegroup.com and we'll get your KINDLE on the way to you!
Congrats to all the winners - please email your mailing address to amy@litfusegroup.com!
Congratulations to Jenny Chavers Booher! You've won a copy of Fairer Than Morning! Email your mailing address to amy@litfusegroup.com!
Congratulations to Jodie Wolfe! You've won a copy of Fairer Than Morning! Email your mailing address to amy@litfusegroup.com!
Congratulations to Lori Thompson! You've won a copy of Fairer Than Morning and the gift certificate of your choice (Amazon, iTunes, Starbucks)! Email your mailing address and choice to amy@litfusegroup.com!
Congratulations to Donn Battle! You've won a copy of Fairer Than Morning! Email your mailing address to amy@litfusegroup.com!
Congratulations to Roxanna Jolly! You've won a copy of Fairer Than Morning! Email your mailing address to amy@litfusegroup.com!
Congratulations to Faith Hope Cherrytea! You've won a copy of Fairer Than Morning and the gift certificate of your choice (Amazon, iTunes, Starbucks)! Email your mailing address and choice to amy@litfusegroup.com!
Congratulations to Elena Rico! You've won a copy of Fairer Than Morning for posting your photo on my wall! Email your mailing address to amy@litfusegroup.com!
Congratulations to Jenny Crevier! You've won a copy of Fairer Than Morning for posting your photo on my wall! Email your mailing address to amy@litfusegroup.com!
Congrats to Mama-Nikki Vosburgh! You won the $200 gift certificate to Reflections to put toward a custom-made period dress! Email your mailing address to amy@litfusegroup.com!
And here is the Kindle Giveaway winner:
Congrats to Mary Lou from New York! You were with winner of the Fairer Than Morning Kindle Giveaway! Send your mailing address to amy@litfusegroup.com and we'll get your KINDLE on the way to you!
Congrats to all the winners - please email your mailing address to amy@litfusegroup.com!
Trivia Answers, and Winner!
I really enjoyed chatting with everyone last night at the Fairer than Morning Facebook Party. What a great group we had--fun, smart, and thoughtful.
Here are the answers to the trivia contest, for those who must know (like Donn!) :-)
1 What kind of animal is Dr. Loftin’s most prized piece of livestock?
A white pig
2 How many sisters does Ann have?
Two younger sisters
3 What does Will see in Master Good’s hand on the morning that Will is chopping wood in the yard?
A pistol
4 What symbol is marked on the foreheads of John and Clara Simon?
A cross inside a circle
5 Where does Will first meet Emmie Flynn?
At the poorhouse
1 In the year 1826, two presidents died within hours of each other on July 4th. Who were they?
Thomas Jefferson and John Adams
2 A decade before this novel begins, a famous English authoress published what would become some of the world’s most famous love stories. Name one of her novels.
The authoress: Jane Austen The novels: Pride and Prejudice, etc.
3 Of what metal were most plows made in the 1820s?
Iron
4 In 1826, were women wearing loose, classical gowns in Empire/Regency style, or corsets and lower waistlines?
Corsets and lower waistlines than the Regency style.
5 In the 1820s, two states were added to the USA, both with the initial letter ‘M.’ Name one.
Maine and Missouri
Everybody with a certain number of correct answers was put into the drawing for the prize, and the winner is:
LARA POTTS!
I will be emailing you to offer your prize. Congratulations!
Here are the answers to the trivia contest, for those who must know (like Donn!) :-)
1 What kind of animal is Dr. Loftin’s most prized piece of livestock?
A white pig
2 How many sisters does Ann have?
Two younger sisters
3 What does Will see in Master Good’s hand on the morning that Will is chopping wood in the yard?
A pistol
4 What symbol is marked on the foreheads of John and Clara Simon?
A cross inside a circle
5 Where does Will first meet Emmie Flynn?
At the poorhouse
1 In the year 1826, two presidents died within hours of each other on July 4th. Who were they?
Thomas Jefferson and John Adams
2 A decade before this novel begins, a famous English authoress published what would become some of the world’s most famous love stories. Name one of her novels.
The authoress: Jane Austen The novels: Pride and Prejudice, etc.
3 Of what metal were most plows made in the 1820s?
Iron
4 In 1826, were women wearing loose, classical gowns in Empire/Regency style, or corsets and lower waistlines?
Corsets and lower waistlines than the Regency style.
5 In the 1820s, two states were added to the USA, both with the initial letter ‘M.’ Name one.
Maine and Missouri
Everybody with a certain number of correct answers was put into the drawing for the prize, and the winner is:
LARA POTTS!
I will be emailing you to offer your prize. Congratulations!
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Tuesday - Win Kindle, Recollections dress!
The big day is almost here!It's time for the Fairer than Morning Facebook party tomorrow, TUESDAY, at 5pm Pacific, 6pm Mountain, 7pm Central, 8pm Eastern. OK, I probably didn't need to say every time zone, but I don't want anyone to miss the fun. :-)
We are giving away a Kindle with Wi-Fi, which I know is very exciting.
But I also want to show you some of the gorgeous dresses you could get from Recollections if you win our $200 gift certificate prize. These make me drool.
You can choose something historical, or something that just looks romantic...or steampunk.
Maybe you want the Christmas dress of the century for your daughter...
Or does this plum coat rock your world like it rocks mine?
If hat and gloves are more your style, our gift card will buy you a lot of lace and feathers.
There is so much ah-worthy stuff on the Recollections site I had trouble even picking out these samples for you from all the beautiful things. I own two Recollections dresses, and I wanted to give someone else the same pleasure I've taken in wearing a beautiful dress that fits very well.
You can scroll up to the top of this page and click the button in the sidebar to enter the Kindle giveaway. The dress will be given away during the party.
Join us on my Facebook author page tomorrow night for the big party when the winners will be announced!
Monday, September 12, 2011
3 Kinds of Anger: A Discovery and Reflection
I've witnessed a lot of anger over the last year or so as our church has been through some very difficult times.
Tonight, I was talking with some friends about anger.
"But anger's not a sin," one of them said. "It's how you behave as a result of anger that becomes wrong."
"True," I said. "But if anger becomes a choice, a way of life, then it's a sin. That's why it's one of the seven deadly sins."
They agreed, but in our brief discussion, I knew we were only telling part of the story. I went google-hunting for good reflections on anger.
My favorite is this article by Phil Snyder. I'm going to quote a short part of it below.
There are different types of anger.
Resentment is the refusal to discern, accept, or fulfill God's vocation for you. Resentment leads to dissatisfaction with your God-given talents, opportunities, or abilities. It can lead to unwillingness to face up to difficulties or sacrifices required to fulfill your vocation. Resentment leads to transferring blame to God, our parents, or families, our bosses or anyone else for the reasons behind our failures. Resentment shows itself in cynicism, profanity, grumbling and a desire to escape from reality.
Pugnacity is an attack upon another in anger. It can be physical, emotional, or spiritual. Murder by desire (and remember, that saying "you fool" or "raca" is murder by desire) or deed. Striking another, cursing another, insulting another, or damaging an other's reputation by words and deeds. Arguing, bickering, contradicting others to get your own point across, being rude or snubbing others are all forms of pugnacity. It is more than just hitting another, it is the desire or will to cause harm to others...
Another form of Anger is Retaliation. It is vengeance (actual or planned) for wrongs real or imagined. It is giving excessive punishment out of a desire to hurt, not discipline. Hostility, sullenness, and rash judgment. Refusal to forgive or to offer or accept reconciliation. Unwillingness to love your enemies, to seek their good or to pray for them. Retaliation shows itself in ostracising others and getting others to join you in cutting someone off from the group to make you feel better. Putting others down so you can feel better about yourself. Refusing to join in the groups activities simply because you did not get your way. Feeling superior to others.
Thank you, Phil! When we are living through situations in which we are surrounded by angry people, and may be tempted to act on our anger, this kind of understanding is priceless. It can help us be thoughtful peacemakers instead of instinctive reactors. One more sobering thought--the definition of a deadly sin is that it kills grace and charity in the human soul.
Question for you: What do you do to control your behavior when you are angry?
Tonight, I was talking with some friends about anger.
"But anger's not a sin," one of them said. "It's how you behave as a result of anger that becomes wrong."
"True," I said. "But if anger becomes a choice, a way of life, then it's a sin. That's why it's one of the seven deadly sins."
They agreed, but in our brief discussion, I knew we were only telling part of the story. I went google-hunting for good reflections on anger.
My favorite is this article by Phil Snyder. I'm going to quote a short part of it below.
There are different types of anger.
Resentment is the refusal to discern, accept, or fulfill God's vocation for you. Resentment leads to dissatisfaction with your God-given talents, opportunities, or abilities. It can lead to unwillingness to face up to difficulties or sacrifices required to fulfill your vocation. Resentment leads to transferring blame to God, our parents, or families, our bosses or anyone else for the reasons behind our failures. Resentment shows itself in cynicism, profanity, grumbling and a desire to escape from reality.
Pugnacity is an attack upon another in anger. It can be physical, emotional, or spiritual. Murder by desire (and remember, that saying "you fool" or "raca" is murder by desire) or deed. Striking another, cursing another, insulting another, or damaging an other's reputation by words and deeds. Arguing, bickering, contradicting others to get your own point across, being rude or snubbing others are all forms of pugnacity. It is more than just hitting another, it is the desire or will to cause harm to others...
Another form of Anger is Retaliation. It is vengeance (actual or planned) for wrongs real or imagined. It is giving excessive punishment out of a desire to hurt, not discipline. Hostility, sullenness, and rash judgment. Refusal to forgive or to offer or accept reconciliation. Unwillingness to love your enemies, to seek their good or to pray for them. Retaliation shows itself in ostracising others and getting others to join you in cutting someone off from the group to make you feel better. Putting others down so you can feel better about yourself. Refusing to join in the groups activities simply because you did not get your way. Feeling superior to others.
Thank you, Phil! When we are living through situations in which we are surrounded by angry people, and may be tempted to act on our anger, this kind of understanding is priceless. It can help us be thoughtful peacemakers instead of instinctive reactors. One more sobering thought--the definition of a deadly sin is that it kills grace and charity in the human soul.
Question for you: What do you do to control your behavior when you are angry?
Monday, September 5, 2011
Responding to Social Media Reviews?
My experience of the last few months has changed my mind about responding to reviews of my novel on blogs.
This is a biggie.
Not so long ago, a discussion of this very same question occurred on the main email loop of ACFW, a major writer's organization. Many well-known writers weighed in. A goodly number of them said Never Ever! respond to any review of your own book.
I took that as a guideline. After all, it made sense that an author should never argue with a negative review--that's unprofessional.
But it didn't feel right to me when some readers wrote fantastic, encouraging reviews on their blogs and I held myself back from commenting. Intuitively, I wanted to thank them, each and every one. But I kept saying to myself: "Don't do it. So-and-so big name author said she never does it and it's not professional, even for the positive reviews."
Well, times, they are a'changin'.
I was already planning to post on this topic when I ran across an excellent discussion of social media on Mike Duran's blog last week.
This discussion galvanized my half-formed plan into action. Yes, I'm coming to believe that for many of the reasons Mike and his commenters propose, the "rules" are different.
Should we comment on highly negative reviews of our work? No, I think that's a bad idea. Such a comment has the potential to embarrass the poster, and that's not right. People should be free to give bad reviews in peace. ;-)
However, we live now in a much more connected world, a world of instant dialogue. If we can have more fulfilling, immediate contact with our readers by thanking them and acknowledging their kind reviews, how is that a bad thing for either author or reader?
I've changed my mind. I value my readers and I think this world of social media is constantly reshaping our opportunities to show readers that we appreciate them, and what we do is all about them. I'm seizing the day.
This is a biggie.
Not so long ago, a discussion of this very same question occurred on the main email loop of ACFW, a major writer's organization. Many well-known writers weighed in. A goodly number of them said Never Ever! respond to any review of your own book.
I took that as a guideline. After all, it made sense that an author should never argue with a negative review--that's unprofessional.
But it didn't feel right to me when some readers wrote fantastic, encouraging reviews on their blogs and I held myself back from commenting. Intuitively, I wanted to thank them, each and every one. But I kept saying to myself: "Don't do it. So-and-so big name author said she never does it and it's not professional, even for the positive reviews."
Well, times, they are a'changin'.
I was already planning to post on this topic when I ran across an excellent discussion of social media on Mike Duran's blog last week.
This discussion galvanized my half-formed plan into action. Yes, I'm coming to believe that for many of the reasons Mike and his commenters propose, the "rules" are different.
Should we comment on highly negative reviews of our work? No, I think that's a bad idea. Such a comment has the potential to embarrass the poster, and that's not right. People should be free to give bad reviews in peace. ;-)
However, we live now in a much more connected world, a world of instant dialogue. If we can have more fulfilling, immediate contact with our readers by thanking them and acknowledging their kind reviews, how is that a bad thing for either author or reader?
I've changed my mind. I value my readers and I think this world of social media is constantly reshaping our opportunities to show readers that we appreciate them, and what we do is all about them. I'm seizing the day.
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