If you're a longtime reader of my blog, you know I don't review fiction. Every now and then, I will recommend an excellent nonfiction book or historical resource for writers.
This week, I want to tell you about a disturbing and unforgettable memoir: Saloma Furlong's Why I Left the Amish.
The most popular genre in inspirational fiction right now is Amish fiction. In these romantic novels, the Amish community is often idealized as a more communal, slower-paced alternative to the hectic rush of twenty-first century America.
I have no doubt that the Amish community has its virtues. But if we are going to read about its positive attributes, I think it's only intellectually honest and ethical to be willing to understand its drawbacks as well.
In an old-world, intensely patriarchal culture like that of the Amish, women don't have much of a public voice. If they are under the protection of a virtuous Amish gentleman, everything may be fine. The question is, what happens to Amish women who have severe dysfunction in their families and no social power to protect themselves when men around them behave in despicable ways? And how common is that situation for Amish families?
Saloma Furlong's memoir is a finely-written, harrowing study of the circumstances that brought her to leave everything she knew and set out for parts unknown with a suitcase in hand. I hope you will click on her name to go check out her blog and read her excellent work. For those of us who love America's past, or communities like the Amish that seem to capture the values of the past, it's vital to remember that a hundred years of progress has brought women protection in very basic ways that we may now take for granted.
I'm grateful for organizations that help abused women start over, and for laws that hold abusive men accountable.
How about you? Are you grateful for a contemporary freedom or protection for women and/or children that we did not possess in 1875? Do you think we have a responsibility to know real history or the real story of a culture, with its beauties AND its flaws? Or is it OK to leave out the flaws?
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16 comments:
No! It's not okay to leave out the flaws! As a teacher, I'm always teaching my students about the importance of Point of View in history. How text books are written from a certain point of view. How voices of certain people groups are often marginalized or totally left out. Great post, Rosslyn! Sounds like a phenomenal book.
Rossyln, thank you so much for such a moving review. It is the kind that makes me realize that the core message of the book is being understood.
Thank you, Rossyln.
Blessings,
Saloma
Thanks for your comments, and Saloma, thanks again for your courage.
I notice from my blog stats that a number of visitors have read the blog this morning but refrained from comment. That happens sometimes with controversial subjects. :-) But I'm glad people are reading the message, even if they would rather not give an opinion.
Domestic abuse of all kinds does seem to me to be a rather straightforward right/wrong issue, but there's a reason why campaigns against it have often used phrases like "end the silence." As Christians, I believe we should be willing to acknowledge and stand up against the abuse of the physically weaker by the physically stronger, whether that abuse is aimed at women or at children.
Rossyln, very nicely put about ending the silence. And thank YOU for your courage by being a voice for the abused.
I LOVE how you posed the above questions, and Katie G, thank you so much for your comments and POV. I wish you had been my sons' teacher!
Rosslyn, thank you so much for your kindness... I am a firm believer that what goes around comes around. this means you have kindnesses coming back to you.
The best of luck for your own book... I cannot wait to read it.
Hi Rosslyn, thanks for posting about this book, which I've added to my Amazon wishlist. Living very close to Amish country, I've grown curious about the lifestyle - and am interested to read beyond what's written about in novels and available to see from a tourist's viewpoint.
Sarah, given your interests, this is definitely the book for you. I'm so glad the review brought it to your attention.
Rosslyn,I am all for knowing about the bad as well as the good. I am strongly against abuse of any kind! my wish is that we live in a world where everyone is protected,especially children. Because if we don't speak up for the children,even when it is unpopular to do so,who will? Blessings jane
Hi Rosslyn-- This sounds like a great resource. I'm always amazed at all of the research that goes into novels.
It doesn't address the problems with abuse, but Canadian Mennonite published a semi-scholarly article on the phenomenon of bonnet fiction, and how it misrepresents the life.
http://www.canadianmennonite.org/articles/peeking-under-bonnet
Thanks, Rosslyn, for the book recommendation. I'm always looking for new memoirs to read, and I respect your opinion, so I can't wait to read it.
As to your question, I feel very strongly about the WHOLE truth being told. It's too easy to just look at the "good side" of things and stop there. I think we have a responsibility to educate ourselves to know the what lies on both sides.
Thanks for the review.
A couple of years ago, Rhoda Janzen published her memoir of growing up Mennonite (which is not the same as Amish of course.) Mennonite in a Little Black Dress, while written in a breezy tone and designed to appeal to a "chick lit" audience is a thoughtful exploration of Janzen's heritage and beliefs, and of the tragedies--a severe auto accident, a botched surgery, a family member's suicide, a heart-wrenching divorce--that shaped her life. Like Ms. Furlong's book, it's an honest look at the life she led...and yes, I do think it's important to understand both the positives and negatives. Here in Texas we have a state school board that refuses to acknowledge science or to recognize the dark chapters in our country's history. Our children are poorer for it. Interesting post, Rosslyn!
Jane and Erin, thanks for taking the time to come by and comment!
And Christine, that was a fascinating article. I appreciate the link.
D.J., I would love to hear your opinion of this book after you read it. You're a very reflective person and I know you would have a valuable take on it.
Dorothy - While writing at Borders, I overheard a women's book club discussing Mennonite in a Little Black Dress. I was fascinated by the contrast in opinions. One older woman in particular said repeatedly and with very tight lips: "I just didn't care for it." A younger woman found it hilarious. So that's another one I may have to look up! Thanks for coming by. You're the best--can't wait to read your book in only a few months!
I wholeheartedly agree "we should be willing to acknowledge and stand up against the abuse" and support those caught in dysfunctional family situations wherever they occur. Unfortunately it seems Amish and Mennonite communities are tight knit societies that do not willingly expose themselves to outside scrutiny so it's impossible to know for sure what's going on. Some hold an opinion that a few of those who leave the confines tell exaggerated stories to justify their departure (of course, not for a moment am I suggesting Saloma has done this!) so it can be hard for outsiders to discern the unbiased truth.
As ideal as the lifestyle appears, it obviously has its painful side. I'm looking forward to reading Saloma's story. Thank you for bringing it to my attention, Rosslyn.
There's two sides to every story. Each should be told truthfully. Otherwise, you have a skewed view. I came here from Giveaway Lady. I'll enjoy reading more of your blog.
Thanks for your comment, Anne! I agree. When I write, I aspire to tell both sides, as well as I can. As novelists, we may not always succeed, but the effort is important.
I counseled an Amish victim of sexual abuse. She believed that her community ignored the abuse. A simple "confession" brought the abuser back into the fold and the experience would happen over and over again with younger sisters. The desire of one young girl to protect a younger sister brought this out into the open. Lancaster county has a high rate of incest because of these closed communities. It's a shame that these "Christians" even use the bible (Honor thy father) to force themselves on young girls. Vicki Stauffer, Lancaster PA
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