Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Worm? Me!

I'm typing this post now, because I'm afraid of that nasty virus that is scheduled to strike computers tomorrow. You know, the Co*******r.

I'm afraid to even type its full name!

I've spent a number of hours today trying to protect both of my computers, though I have no way of knowing if I succeeded. I hope all of you have good anti-virus software and spyware, and that no one of us will be adversely affected.

I'll tell you this: I may disconnect from the internet until later in the day, when I will know what, if anything, the worm has done.

Shadow

The literary symbolism of shadows is usually ominous; in Tolkien's Lord of the Rings, for example, we assume no good is to follow if a shadow passes over one of the characters. Evil characters live in shadow and cast their own terrifying shadows.

But in our final study of Esther last night, author Beth Moore recalled both literary connotations of shadow. First, she stated: "It's tough being a woman in another woman's shadow," referring to the sense of insecurity and invisibility that afflicts many women.

To counter that image, she called up a verse about "dwelling in the shadow of the Almighty." In scripture, the Lord's shadow is a place of shelter and protection. This image springs from a desert climate in which shadows were a refuge from the harsh, blazing heat. Thus we say: "In the shadow of your wings will I rejoice."

Beth Moore argues that to feel overshadowed by another human is a tricky illusion; instead, we need to be grateful that we live in the shadow of God. She points out that when we face an enemy from within the shadow of the Lord, we can know that He stands between us and the enemy.

I found this thought-provoking. I haven't often struggled with feeling overshadowed.

Instead, I felt the lack of a protective shadow in my youth. As a result, I learned the hard way, through a lot of burns.

I'm so grateful that I can stand between my daughter and the harshness of the world, casting my shadow over her until she knows for herself how much heat is safe.

All the leaves are brown...

I was in a funk for the first hour of my morning.

It's cold (31 degrees) and gray outside. Highly unusual for New Mexico at this time of year.

I don't know if a doctor would diagnose me with Seasonal Affective Disorder, but it's possible. I do get the winter blues, even here in the land of sunlight. That's not to say that I'm in a terrible mood all winter, but if I charted my moods like the weather, my average happiness would be noticeably lower during January and February. In March, the frequent sunlight returns, and my mood lifts.

When we get an unexpected winter blast late in the season, I implement the strategy I used when we lived in Ohio.

I close the curtains and I don't go outside unless I must. I pretend the weather isn't happening. Beyond those closed curtains, it may be sunny and warm. Who knows? I've just chosen not to go outside today. ;-)

The good news for my temporary state of denial is that tomorrow's forecast is "sunny and 60 degrees."

How do you respond to cold, gray days?

A Classic in the Making

I read this passage with my daughter this morning. It amazes me to see how Lewis Carroll's one-hundred-and-fifty-year-old characters and dreamlike situations capture my daughter's imagination. She likes it much better than many contemporary children's books that are full of action but lack originality and memorable characters.


"Who are you talking to?" said the King, coming up to Alice, and looking at the Cat's head with great curiosity.

It's a friend of mine--a Cheshire Cat," said Alice: "allow me to introduce it."

"I don't like the look of it at all," said the King: "however, it may kiss my hand, if it likes."

"I'd rather not," the Cat remarked.

"Don't be impertinent," said the King, "and don't look at me like that!" He got behind Alice as he spoke.

"A cat may look at a king," said Alice. "I've read that in some book, but I don't remember where."

"Well, it must be removed," said the King very decidedly: and he called to the Queen, who was passing at the moment, "My dear! I wish you would have this cat removed!"

The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great or small. "Off with his head!" she said without even looking around.


Do you think that Lewis Carroll knew, when he first put these words on the page, that he was writing a classic?

Changing of the Guard

Tonight I finished my quarter as teacher of the 4/5/6-year-old class on Wednesday nights.

I am very excited about my next job! Next Wednesday, my friend Lee and I will begin to teach a class for adults based on the book Concentric Circles of Concern, by W. Oscar Thompson.

It's an unwieldy title, but a great concept.

I had such a great experience co-teaching my adult class in the fall. As a result, I'm a big fan of co-teaching on spiritual topics. I think two different instructor perspectives make for a richer discussion, and draw out a wider variety of comments from participants.

My goal in selecting course topics is always to pick something that I find personally-challenging and timely. If I don't grow as a result of teaching my class, I haven't picked the topic well.

So my question for you is: what kinds of classes do you find most useful in a church setting? What kinds of topics would make you say "Oh, I can't wait to go discuss that topic!" Conversely, what topic or style of class makes you fly for your life in the opposite direction?

Scared to Share

We're headed into the home stretch of our women's study of Esther.

I've been facilitating one of the small group discussions for the last couple of weeks. This is not an arduous task, as there are lots of questions scattered through the workbook that make for great discussion.

We did have a good discussion, and several group members contributed valuable thoughts. Overall, I really enjoyed it.

I don't want anyone to give "too-much-information" in a setting that isn't appropriate. For example, if a woman's husband is currently cheating on her (or vice versa), there are better places to try to deal with that than a small group study! Even specific marital problems that are more minor than adultery need to be handled with utmost discretion. But our PASTS are usually fertile ground for discussions that aren't quite as dicey as bringing up current problems. If someone asks "Can you think of a situation in your past in which you experienced such-and-such a spiritual phenomenon," there should be at least one or two questions that we summon the courage to tackle. Anyone who has ever experienced a good application study knows that hearing about another person's spiritual journey is tremendously helpful as we continue on our own.

I believe that we absolutely must be open with one another about our struggles, even if we are selective and appropriately discreet about what we share. A commitment to openness is mandatory, not optional, if we want to create a true Christian community.

After ten years of agnosticism, I returned to faith in part because I witnessed real Christian community and authentic spirituality. I recognized something supernatural in a number of believers I met--in some cases, in entire churches. As Luke said in yesterday's comments, there was a distinctive between these Christians I met and the rest of the world.

The hallmarks of the difference that opened my once-blind eyes were:

LOVE
HUMILITY
TRANSPARENCY

And this is why I'm so passionate about transparency. Yes, it's frightening. Yes, all of us have had unpleasant experiences when someone we trusted to keep our affairs private betrayed that trust. But more of us must abandon our need for "saving face," and more of us must understand that witnessing to ANYONE requires the willingness to show who we really are. Telling someone "I've received grace beyond compare" means nothing to them unless I actually explain in at least some detail how I once lived, and why I was not perfectly fine just the way I was.

I have observed a number of churches in my four recent relocations. Every one of those churches contained at least a few wonderful imitators of Christ--no church is without its great examples. But the successful, loving, transformative churches were filled with members who were transparent and humble. The unsuccessful, much-like-any-other-worldly-institution churches contained a large number of people who were not transparent and at least a few who were firmly entrenched in worldly pride.

We can't fool ourselves. Church communities are not supposed to look like the rest of life. Instead of arguing about superficial details and trying to make radical changes in our "marketing," we need to get real. Just like Kevin Roose, people will know real love and real community when they see it. So if I'm not being real, if I'm not being transparent, if I'm not loving every person who comes to my church and giving to her a servant heart and true friendship, then I am the problem with my church.

What You Don't Know About Evangelicals

The hottest conversational topic among Christian cultural analysts is the hostility of postmoderns toward organized Christianity.

This morning, I read a fascinating review of The Unlikely Disciple: A Sinner's Semester at America's Holiest University.

Author Kevin Roose, a student at Brown University, went undercover at Liberty University to do an expose' of campus evangelical culture.

What he found surprised him. He's still critical of some of the obvious inconsistencies he found at Liberty, but you may find his other discoveries touching. I admire his open-mindedness.

Surprised by Love Review

Click on the above link to go to the review.

Slumdog Millionaire

I saw it last weekend. Fantastic movie, and so cleverly-designed to appeal to everyone.

My favorite aspect of Slumdog is its focus on India's poverty and adult exploitation of children. It's difficult to make a movie on such a harsh subject which is still entertaining enough to attract large audiences. The director and writer (the movie is based on a novel) deserve tons of credit for pulling it off.

This post on Slumdog was inspired by my sister, who recently participated in a conversation on Facebook about world poverty and the need for more Americans to see it firsthand.

Movies may not be quite as good as a firsthand tour, but they do play an important role in shedding light on global problems to large numbers of people who otherwise might never know or care.

Lift Your Spirits - Watch This

If you love music...

If you love kids...

If you think teaching is the greatest vocation you can get...

Or if you just need a pick-me-up...

Watch this.

It's an oldie, but a goodie.

I'm teaching this song to the kids at church--not this exact version. :-)

Twisted Words: Rant Advisory

You may want to skip this post if you think it's OK for 6-, 7- and 8-year-old girls to spend a lot of time thinking about their attractiveness, boys, and fashion, or to perform suggestive moves while dancing or "cheerleading." You will not agree with my perspective.

Today, I took my daughter for a homeschoolers' play session at the local park.

I learned that while the kids were playing, one of the moms was teaching the teenaged girls from the homeschool group how to model on a catwalk. They were supposed to do it over by the library, which is some distance from the playground.

Not enough teenagers showed up, so Modeling Mom ended up bringing a few teenagers back over to the playground. She then decided to show them how to model on the playground bridge, which is long like a catwalk.

This created a problem for me. I don't know if you're familiar with a runway model's "walk," but it's very distinctively slinky and not something I want my 6-year-old daughter to imitate. I'm against the twenty-first century's sexualization of young girls, and allowing a kindergartener to become interested in that kind of activity is a contributing factor, in my opinion. My strategy has been to try to teach her from a very early age that vanity and an excessive desire for attention are not admirable--that they are, in fact, laughable. (My daughter already likes to joke with me on the topic, usually by flipping her non-existent long hair and saying in a high-pitched voice: "Look at me! Look at me! I'm so beautiful! Give me all the attention!")

There were no other girls my daughter's age at the park, though there was one four-year-old and a three-year-old.

Modeling Mom got up on the bridge, thrust her pelvis forward, cocked her head in a sultry fashion, and started walking. It was clear that the point was not just to pretend to be a model, but to walk correctly, i.e. seductively. All the little girls got up on the bridge with the big girls so they could "play," not really aware of what they were doing. When my daughter got in line, I walked over and told her that she could not play that game and she needed to go play elsewhere on the playground. She asked me why. Under pressure, and within earshot of the mom doing the teaching, I said in a calm, neutral voice: "Because it's not an appropriate game for little girls."

Yeah, I probably could've been more tactful, given more time and without a resistant daughter in front of me.

My daughter tried to argue with me that the other little girls were up there (which was true), so at that point I just made her come down and walk away with me without further explanation. It was unfortunate: there were no other groups for her to go play with, so my daughter kept avidly watching the girls do their slinky thing. After a minute, I realized that if I did not want her admiring and imitating this activity of "the big girls," I just had to remove her from the playground. I tried to do so quietly and tactfully.

As I walked away from the playground holding her hand, I heard Modeling Mom stage-whisper to one of the other moms in clear reference to me:

"She said, 'That's totally inappropriate!'"

Modeling Mom not only changed my words, but she said them in a snippy, sharp tone, which was completely different from the tone I had used. She implied to her listener that I had been rude--that I had spoken directly to her and condemned the entire group of teenagers for doing the activity, when, in fact, I had simply told my daughter in a quiet voice that it was not approriate for girls my daughter's age.

I'm not concerned about the effect of her misrepresentation. I don't know any of those women, and anyone who blindly swallows another woman's gossip and uses it as a blanket judgment is not someone I would choose as a friend, anyway.

What bugs me is the more universal question:

How do women grow up thinking that it's morally acceptable to twist other people's words even slightly in order to get people on your side?

I would have no respect for myself if I behaved like that. I consider twisting the words of others to be just the same as lying.

I have to leaven my rant by saying that when women are good and honorable, they are the best creatures God ever made, and I love them. But sometimes, I just have to say Gimme a break!

Lint-brush!

I had a deeper post topic I was going to use tonight, but I decided to go shallow instead. Perhaps I'll call my Monday posts "Shallow Mondays." Every blog needs a theme day, right?

I just used an ENTIRE lint-brush (you know, the masking tape on the roller) on the carpet of our guest bedroom to get dog hair off.

1) Why doesn't vacuuming work?
2)What possible advantage is it to a dog to shed thousands of hairs? Doesn't that attract larger carnivores? Wouldn't it be better if they peeled off their winter coats in one big piece, like a snake skin?
3) Is there a better way?

Our First Author/Editor Conflict

My daughter and I spotted a flyer for a story contest. It's open to kindergarteners, and her story "The Runaway" is perfect, in my editorial opinion.

She wanted to enter her story "The Mean Princess," which is her work in progress. She likes it because it has more characters. I told her that the smaller number of characters in "The Runaway" might help her win, given that her word count must be between 50 and 200 words.

Here is "The Runaway." It has been edited for punctuation and spelling only, but all the words are her own in order and detail.

The Runaway

Once upon a time, there lived a poor little girl named Bree. She was sad,
because her father and mother died on a horse drawn carriage. She lived at an orphanage in Scotland. After ten years at the orphanage, she moved to a house that had money but they were so mean they kept her on the type writer all day long. She wanted to live in a palace but she could not. One night she decided to escape. She climbed out of bed and she threw her pillow out the window. She jumped out the window and landed on her pillow. She ran past the river bank. Suddenly she saw a cave. She yelled “hello!” Suddenly a dragon started blowing fire at her. Sir Sammy saved her and took her to the castle and they lived happily ever after.



I am particularly proud that the heroine's mother and father died "on a horse-drawn carriage." Yes, this child is clearly the spawn of a historical writer!!

Sports for the Puny and Scrawny

As I consider what sports would suit my daughter, I have to take her size into account.

She's her mother's daughter. She's a wee, puny thing--always the smallest in her class, and fragile-boned like a bird. She can play sports like soccer while she's young, but she won't be able to do as well at them when she's older, and brawny brutes begin to dominate the field. Trust me, I'm speaking from experience.

Dance is a good choice, because it isn't size-dependent. (I know, it's not really a sport, but at least it's exercise!)

Archery has already attracted her interest, thanks to the archers at the Celtic Festival. We'll look into archery when she's big enough to handle a bow.

Horseback riding is another one in which you can be small and still succeed.

Any other ideas? Keep in mind that she likes to win. The sport most likely to hold her interest will be one in which she can do well despite her size and relative lack of strength.

Chemistry

My daughter and I played with her chemistry set today.

She had requested it for Christmas, but only now with the advent of homeschooling have we actually dragged it out and opened it.

It's fun! All we did today was make a litmus solution. It has to sit overnight, then tomorrow we will use it to test acids and bases.

I really liked chemistry when we learned it during my school years in England. It was completely hands-on, like my daughter's chemistry set. We used Bunsen burners, test tubes and crucibles in almost every class period. This was in sixth and seventh grade, back in 1984/85. Can you imagine American schools of today allowing thirteen year olds to operate their own Bunsen burners??? LOL!

Chemistry in my American public high school (1987) was completely different. We couldn't do anything fun. It was a straight-from-the-textbook course, and the textbook and the teacher were *terrible.* From what I understand, inadequate teaching is a common problem in high school chemistry. (I bet today's textbooks are better than the one I had, though!)

What was your experience with chemistry during your school days?

Anagram Your Name

My friend Alison posted about this anagram generator.

Punch in your full name and see what comes out!

Here were my favorite results for my full name:

A Silent Folly Story

A Trifle Slyly Snoot

A Story Lifts Lonely

And, most agonizing of all:

A Finely Tolls Story

which is only two letters away from "a finely told story." But that's the way it usually goes!

:-)

Safe and Warm in the Den

I've been spending hours at my daughter's school. I've decided to pull her out of traditional school after this Friday to begin our home schooling.

In order to ensure that her last few days at school were positive, I went along and crouched in the corner like a mother lion. Well, a mother lion who puts snacks in baggies and helps all the little cubs with their reading assignments. But that doesn't sound nearly as dramatic.

Her teachers care about the children, and they're doing their best. Group education just can't provide the benefits of the one-on-one tutoring I can give her.

I'm very excited about home schooling! And, more importantly, I feel a deep sense of peace and rightness about this decision--more equanimity than I've felt for at least a couple of months.

I hope all of you are having a good week and making decisions that lead to peace.

Music Class

Just for fun: here's a shot of my Sunday music class students doing the Filipino dance called the "Tinikling." In the authentic dance, they use heavy bamboo poles, not little sticks. When the poles clash together, beware, little ankles!

A strong 1-2-3 beat makes this dance a great tool for teaching rhythm to kids.

We lived in the Philippines for a few years when I was about eight years old. I have fond memories of our one trip to a resort in the mountains. The adults drank rice wine and I danced the Tinikling. I later rejoiced when a nasty monkey on a chain pulled my brother's hair.

:-)

Have you traveled overseas? Where would you like to go?

No Single Person

One piece of advice I've often heard about marriage is: "don't expect your spouse to fulfill all your social needs."

Each of us has a complicated array of social needs. Some of mine are the need for fun and games, the need for spiritual encouragement, and the need for satisfying original conversation about books, politics, and religion. I also enjoy mutual cooperation towards a common goal--in other words, co-workers, whether they be volunteers or professionals.

Not only is it unreasonable to expect my spouse to supply all these needs--it's equally unreasonable to expect any other human being to meet all these needs.

Yet, there have been times when I have allowed myself to expect the unreasonable from others. Only in hindsight can I start to unravel the complex reasons why my expectations developed.

Sometimes we expect too much because we give too much, and our needy little subconscious takes over and says WHERE'S MY PIECE OF THE PIE? :-)

If this is the case, we have given beyond our current spiritual capacity, and we need to work on understanding those boundaries, even as we try to stretch ourselves to learn to give more without the expectation of reward. It doesn't do anyone good if we strain our relationships by giving more than we can currently give without conditions.

Have you ever expected too much, and had to take responsibility for that outsized expectation?

Freedom

One thing I would love to give my daughter is the freedom I had as a child.

I roamed all over our many neighborhoods. Despite all of our relocations as a military family, we usually lived in fairly similar areas: suburban environments with fringes of woods or wasteland.

We were explorers. We caught insects and tadpoles in ditches. We found treasures of the natural world and brought them home to admire them at our leisure. Our games of pretend took place among trees, far from our parents, who seldom even knew where we were.

As a young rider, I went on horseback through fields and woods, sometimes with my sister, but often by myself.

When I think of the way our children live now, penned up in planned communities and under constant surveillance, it makes me want to move into the countryside and let my daughter experience a more natural life. I would get her a dog to protect her and a pony to take her where she wanted to go. Within reason. :-)

Did you grow up free to roam outdoors?