G.K. Chesterton tells a prosperous publisher why he should not praise persons who "believe in themselves":"You of all men ought to know them. That drunken poet from whom you would not take a dreary tragedy; he believed in himself. That elderly minister with an epic from whom you were hiding in the back room, he believed in himself. If you consulted your business experience instead of your ugly individualistic philosophy, you would know that believing in himself is one of the commonest signs of a rotter. ...Complete self-confidence is not merely a sin; complete self-confidence is a weakness."
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Someone once told me that a truly intelligent person never assumes that she is the smartest person in the room. Never.
The more educated we are, the more we should realize how little we know.
Keeping the balance between healthy (incomplete) self-confidence and delusional pride is tricky. For several years after college, I was so underconfident that I couldn't set any goals without shooting myself down. I was so perfectionistic that I couldn't finish writing projects because I would become so discouraged by their flaws.
As time went by, I was able to remind myself of the skills I had worked for years to build. I learned to silence the negative voice of my perfectionism with mottos like: "Success is 10 percent inspiration, 90 percent perspiration," and "80 percent of success is just showing up."
It's not wrong to know you are good at something--that's a part of healthy self-confidence. It's not even wrong to say you are good at something, though women have often been taught to deny their gifts.
But, even in my strongest areas, if I were to think that I myself am infallible in that field, or always right, well, that's just foolish. And as Chesterton says, it's a weakness.
Have you ever struggled with the balance between underconfidence and overconfidence?
6 comments:
This post screamed King Solomon to me. I confess, if things are going strong I get fooled into thinking *I* am doing something right or well when in Truth, He is the inspiration behind any of my *good* (which is merely rags to Him anyway).
~ Wendy
Hi Rosslyn -
My first thought as I read the title: Phil. 4:13. I can do all things THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME. It sure isn't because I'm so smart.
Blessings,
Susan :)
Yup, have struggled with those two extremes, probably the under-confidence one more often, though.
I think it is important to do everything we can as parents to help build genuinely good s-c in our kids. The world will do everything it can to tear that down! Good post.
My tolerance for hubris among writers stands at an all-time low.
Sorry for the vent, Rosslyn. I'm up to here with over-confidence. Especially Christian over-confidence, of all things.
And at that I shall say no more.
*sigh*
Definitely, under-confidence has been a bigger issue with me than over-confidence. Sometimes, I become excited about something and want to share it with the world. Perhaps that comes off as over-confidence, but it's really zeal. I also believe humility is an undervalued quality in our society. It would do us well to try to strike a healthy balance between inner confidence and humility; the two can co-exist. When we can truly grasp that God gives us ALL that we have, including our desire and ability to write, we will be more likely to strike this balance and lead a healthy, productive, heaven-bound existence.
By the way, Rosslyn, check back on Peace Garden Mama II (my mirror blog at our local newspaper) and Peace Garden Mama for additional comments since you popped in earlier today -- it was fun linking to you!.
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